zoe denmark ‘You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
The Waste Land, T. S. Eliot
They called me the hyacinth girl.’
–Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Oed’ und leer das Meer.
When I read The Waste Land for the first time during my senior year of high school, these lines instantly made a deep impression on me. I felt that there had to be some deeper meaning behind them. The lines seemed like a snapshot, one beautiful remembered image, hidden by a thin veil of anonymity. I wondered, who was this anonymous hyacinth girl supposed to be?
My class read a set of explanatory notes alongside the poem. These notes glibly informed me that the hyacinth girl was, in fact, male. According to this interpretation, the lines were supposed to be a representation of Jean Verdenal, a French medical student who befriended T. S. Eliot in Paris and later died at Gallipoli in 1915. But this explanation didn’t sit quite right with me, so I decided to do my own research.
Though several years late, I found out about 1,131 letters written by T. S. Eliot, donated in the 1960’s to Princeton. These letters were sealed until 2020, which seemed like a suspiciously long time for anything to be hidden from the public eye. So, I looked into it. And that was how I discovered Emily Hale.
who was emily hale?
Emily Hale was a talented actress and drama teacher who, after meeting a young T. S. Eliot in 1905, would go on to become his muse. She inspired many of his greatest works, including The Waste Land, Ash Wednesday, and The Four Quartets. Separated by the Atlantic Ocean, Eliot and Hale communicated primarily through their hundreds of letters, testimony to a love story that lasted more than 40 years.
But Eliot was a difficult character, marrying not once but twice, and finally erasing Emily from the narrative altogether. Nevertheless, Miss Hale navigated their decades-long friendship with grace, determination, and self-respect. Despite the complications of their story, Emily Hale was T. S. Eliot’s Beatrice, his poetic representation of beauty, virtue, and purity.
If you’re interested, you can read the famous collection of letters here.
I really can’t explain why these lines from The Waste Land struck me in particular. Maybe it was the sense that I was catching a glimpse into a very specific and very personal memory for the poet. Maybe I liked the idea of being the kind of person who could be remembered in that way, the kind of person who could change someone’s outlook on life just by living their own. Either way, Eliot’s words about the hyacinth girl, to me, are a testament to the power of memory, the nostalgia of being young, and the fact that the smallest moment can be a source of light and personal transformation.
In a way, I think that says a lot about the spirit of this blog. In the spirit of the hyacinth girl, I want to use this blog to capture memories and experiences, illuminate the beauty in everyday things, and keep learning about life in the process. I hope you’ll join me.